DeaGold2WEB

“And today I was a dead girl walking,
see the light burn through tears
and yet still you’d hold me near

Will I ever let you go?”

DeaGold3WEB

In the cold breeze desert
Of my heart long forgotten
Remains of sanity are shattered.
Soon you will be
Collecting dust
of my mind
Hoping that someday
It will be over.

We will last forever.
But forever is made of gold.
Mida is a tricky bastard.

 Lautricienne)

________________________________________________

Witness on a wheel, gods in our sinks, shadow on our noses, elephants in a paragraphs.
Is there love? Is there anything we want to create or just all is lost in a doubt, dark and fears? How do we forget ourselves and how we learn to behave as we are told or expect to enjoy in something – not meant to be for us?

I apologize. I realised that this blog is my vent and my cryptic language (mainly because english is not my first language and I have tendency to ruin the things even in my first language with my long sentences and fact that I hated to call myself a writer which I never was since I refused to be and killed all once existed “talents” in trade for good excuse of being a failure on creative field of my life?!), my periodical break-downs and here-and-there provided pictures I actually liked is a small trade and the prices is not right. I get more even if there is only void and  you get less even with only given opportunity to read what is  probably  – better not?

I also realised this #blog will never be what it is meant to be – it can’t be about #fashion since I don’t understand that word without part “being my own beginning” nor I will understand #fantasy since sometimes reality is worth seeing. It is. But rather I choose to see my life, real and fantasy (second life’s one) life, as a series of close-miss hits in which they are obliged to interfere.
I also realised it will not attract a lot of people. So what?

Sometimes I really do feel like doing my personal diary here. Only thing which preventing me from writing what I ate here is the fact that I a) don’t cook much b) have a lame visual memory so it would be easier to draw or to explain in rhymes c) there is a danger of someone open my diary and read what it is inside.
(not really about the dinner in case you did not get, ha)

But then two things collide: if I blog to promote people’s stuff (which I don’t – excuse to all people who consider me as “their” blogger – I only blog what I like and there is a small group of people crazy enough to actually keep me around) and somehow “show the news inside SL” – and if I blog to have a personal vent-for-preventing-giant-melt-down (when depression kick-in) – how to draw a line and “stay professional” or became lame completely?

Is there some recipe to a become just a REGULAR LUNATIC?
(as my friend Noke and me kidding about having a sweet recipe-warning on her mushrooms – maybe some of us should come with description notice – “don’t read/meet/talk with this person before reading THIS” and there for me should be written something I will steal from one of my favourite movie #FactoryGirl:

andy

 

In any case, I will leave you with dust and sparkles,
xoxo
Dea

WEARING:

  • SKIN: ^^Swallow^^ Roberta Porcelaine Brown Eyebrows
  • MAKEUP 1 – face highlights: NOX. Face Highlight [Full / Light] (NEW! @Cosmetic Fair)
  • MAKEUP 2 – eyeliners: :JUMO:. Zara Eyeliner 8 & 6 (comes in the skin package, yay! same for all appliers)
  • MAKEUP 3 – lips: NOX.  Drama Lip [Citrus]
  • MAKEUP 4 – marks: [theSkinnery] Beauty Marks – style 2
  • PIERCING: DATUM } //  LeBlanc ~ Gold
  • NOSE RING: LaGyo – Mildred Nose Ring – Gold (NEW! @The Chapter Four)
  • HAND TATOO: :Moon Amore: – Super Pop Tatoo Collection
  • LASHES: ::SlackGirl:: Panic Lashes Tip Colors (past On9 item)
  • EYES: [UMEBOSHI] Autumn eyes ex -PaleWood- left
  • EARS: [MANDALA] STEKING_EARS_Season5
  • HAT 1 – gold: E.V.E – Swing Alma Hat Gold Glow (NEW!@We <3 Role-Play)
  • HAT 2 – worn on image behind the back: E.V.E – ATLANTIS Wave Hat Gold RARE (gacha @The Fantasy Gacha Carnival)
  • HAIR: *~*Damselfly*~*Henny Rigged Mesh SM/MED (NEW! @On9)
  • EARRINGS: LaGyo – Mildred Long Earrings – Gold (NEW! @The Chapter Four)
  • CHOKER: LaGyo – Mildred Choker necklace – Gold (NEW! @The Chapter Four)
  • NECKLACE: LaGyo – Mildred Long necklace – Gold (NEW! @The Chapter Four)
  • RING 1&2: LaGyo – Charlotte ring 1 (triangles) (past TCF)
  • NAILS: TASHI – Fall Over Me SLink (NEW! FAD event)
  • SWEATER: LS – Off Shoulder Sweater Nara // 6 Colors // With HUD (NEW! FAD event)
  • DRESS used as a skirt: .AiShA. Tara Dress S Gold (NEW!@The Secret Affair)
  • BOOTS: {AnaMarkova} Kenda Boots Onyx XS (NEW! @On9)
  • POSE 1 – lay: vibe_Shooting Stars 6
  • POSE 2 – sit: vibe_Leave the Pieces

DECOR:

  • GLOWING MUSHROOMS: E.V.E – Waving Bioluminescent Fungus Vanilla (NEW! @Fair Play)
  • FEATHERS: :Moon Amore:+Cureless: Olwsome Collection – CHOCO Owlsome Prop (Flying Feathers 1) (NEW! @Collabor88)
  • OWL in a background: :Moon Amore:+Cureless: Olwsome Collection – Owlsome POSES (7 flying) (NEW! @Collabor88)
  • SPARKLES: E.V.E – Swing Black Widow Stars Bubbles golden with light (past Art in Hats event)

EXTRA:

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7 thoughts on “.All Of Your Gold…

  1. Depression is tough to deal with and good on you for “venting” on your blog! I don’t think there’s any “right” way to deal with it but I think we all deal with it in our own ways. For me it’s taking pictures in sl and writing. I too gave up on writing a long time ago but I’ve decided to follow my dream and study writing in rl.

    Don’t ever say you’re a failure at anything because you’re not! If anything dealing with depression makes you anything but a failure! It makes you strong and able to deal with many things that a “normal” person wouldn’t.

    As for staying professional when you want to vent, it’s your blog and you can make it about anything you want. If that means that some days you’ll have a vent to get it out and make yourself feel better so be it. I personally make separate categories and say I’m having a vent and file it under opinions lol I also have a rl blog that I write on so I can separate my writing from my sl stuff.

    Sorry for the long reply. I hope you feel better soon!

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, Leesee. I apreciate your words and been thinking about what you said.
      As I said, I need to learn to say my mind better in english… but basically, this isn’t so much about depression, more about – expectations.
      I do feel kinda bad when seeing all the ”instruction” for writing a blog and how items should be described and sometimes I got into the mood that I am doing wrong type of hobby. I can’t follow instruction and then I get into dead-man-circle-driving about – why people continue to work with me if they expect something ”better” (aka. different) but in same time, some of them like what I do. And I do what I do.

      About beeing a failure, I said I failed on creative field of my RL – from literary-research class I ended up on social work studies, so SL stuff is only creative thing I do.

      So, sometimes I wonder – is it art what we love, can we define what is art for us without following all rules and by making all the mistakes – can we become eternal – lunatics? :D

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As long as you credit where the items are from when you blog them and put in if it’s from an event then you’re doing it right lol apart from that it’s your blog and you can do what you want with it :) don’t look at them as instructions, look at them as guidelines hehe.

        Like

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